Wandering Aussie

Feet issues, fears, moody, and other distractions…

Lately I’ve been distracted. There is far too many things vying for my attention, and I’m losing sight of the important things. As a consequence my eating has been less than optimal, my fitness has been lacking, and my mood is all over the damn place. There has been a lot of things going on.

I’ve moved house, I’ve been trying to get my feet sorted, the revelations in my sessions with my shrink have been throwing me a curve ball. All in all, I’ve been a ball of anxiety, and it has been creating a lot of fear in my life. Fear unfortunately which has been preventing me from doing some of the simple things. 

My reaction to fear is hide. Stick my head in the sand and hope it goes away. I’m fighting against years of programming at the moment, and sometimes I need to take a step back to sort out what has been going on. I’ve also got the added stress that the place I’m house sitting is selling a lot faster than the owner, and myself were expecting, so I will be on the move again a lot sooner that I thought, which is creating it’s own set of challenges.

So today I’m kicking myself in the arse again. Time to get refocused on the things that are important to me. I have to make time to get this stuff done, and also to make allowances for myself to get some of the fear under control. I know it’s effect, and I know what helps it, and what makes it worse, so I can work around it.

My feet have been getting strapped 3 days out of 4 now, and going to continue this so I can actually get some physically exercise done. My knee has been a bit dodgy as well, and it also needs to be strapped. The excuses need to stop. I’m seeing the guy who makes the orthodics this week, as we are going to go more aggressive to see if that fixes the heal pain.

Time to get back into the game.

Confession of my depression : It gets better (part 2)

Note : Part 1 is here

If someone had said to me even 6 months ago, that I would be where I am today, I would of laughed in their face. I probably would of had some disparaging remark about myself, and probably ended up with some diatribe of how wrong they were.

I’m not here to tell you I am cured. I’m not, and I’m far away from being so, But Pain / Anxiety / Depression are a part of life, and like anything else in life they need to be managed and dealt with in a healthy way. 

Firstly I’m not a health professional, I’m not a shrink, I’m not in any way officially qualified to offer any advise what so ever. 

My way of coping

Exercise

• This is priority number one. Nothing allows me to think through things as well as exercise does. I’m a big fan of long walks, as they allow me to soak up the sounds, smells, and sights of the world around me. It also brings that pleasant smile, and nod when you walk past fellow walkers. 
• Find something you love doing. And do it every time you should. Nothing is better than consistency.
• Find people / club / classes / gym that want to do the same things you do. Being challenged by those around you keep you consistent.
• Find a trainer that has the same goals as you do. Who will help, encourage, and most importantly challenge you.

Friends / Companions / Lovers / Family / Hangout Partners

• Stop hanging out with people that make you feel devalued. 
• Stop hanging out with people that are as miserable as you. Misery loves company, but you walk away worse than you started. 
• Stop hanging out with people who’s only way of entertaining themselves is getting drunk, drugged, sex, sad movies, sad music, or use you.
• Stop hanging out with people who don’t love you back.
• Stop being with people that lie, and cheat. 
• Stop hanging out with people who sabotage your progress.
• Choose friends that make you laugh, and respect you.

Live within your means

• Stop wasting you hard earned cash on bullshit. 
• Stop cluttering your life with the consumer machine. The latest gadget that will end up in a box 3 weeks later.
• Stop trying to charge up some happy.
• Nothing creates more stress than living above your means. It’s an addiction, and the consumer machine works overtime. 
• De-clutter your life. Remember the joy of when you are away from home with minimal things. That’s what you need at home as well. 

Start looking after yourself

• Treat yourself as special.
• Nourish yourself with healthy foods. They will make you feel amazing.
• Most overweight people eat plenty of food, but believe it or not are nutritionally starving. Body is craving for all the things you aren’t having. Vitamins, Minerals, Essential Fatty Oils etc.
• Find things that make you laugh and smile, and occupies your time.
• I can’t stress this part enough. Get in touch with you again. Stop running away from who you are. That disconnect is the void you are trying to fill with everything else.

Get Help

• Seriously, go get help. No don’t give me that strange look. You have been fighting this for years. If anything that should tell you that you are strong, but need guidance. 
• Take your time in choosing who to talk to. Just like everything else in life, one person who maybe perfect for me, would completely suck for you. If you don’t see progress, or you just don’t plain get on, find another one.
• If getting a therapist is beyond your means find a friend who is neutral in your life who will let you talk to them. You need to get all this shit out of you. While it’s buried with in you, you can’t do a damn thing about it.
• Trust yourself.

I never said this was going to be easy. It’s a battle, and you need to treat it that way. The focus you need to have is massive, but it is all very worth it. 

Remember nobody is perfect, even the most happy, and comfortable people have been through their trials and drama. The only difference between them and you is the way they approach those hassles, and work through them. There is nothing like having a challenge, and beating it. This is no different.

I’m not where I want to be, but I now treat myself with the respect I deserve, and have created boundaries for myself that I won’t allow anyone to cross. For example a couple of my non-negotiable are:

1. No dating until i’m respecting and happy in myself.
2. No people in my life that prevent, or hinder my healthy lifestyle, by either devaluing myself worth or by preventing me from exercising.

I have plenty more, but they are personal to yourself.

Just remember you have been fighting all your life against the dreaded black dog, you just need to remember that if you focus this energy in the right place you will never regret what comes out of it.

Most of all.

BE BRAVE. IF YOU DON’T TAKE RISKS YOU MISS OUT ON THE GOOD STUFF.

Even though I have never met any of you. I love you unconditionally for taking the time to read it.

Better now…

Got TripleJ Hottest 100 finally streaming. Work firewall is being a bitch!

Every Australia Day (26th of Jan), Triplej the youth radio station of our national broadcaster plays the top 100 tracks of the year, based on listener votes. It’s generally an awesome collection of songs from both mainstream, and underground, and I look forward to it every year.

Although I’m far from being youth any more, my music taste continues to keep up with all the new stuff around, and I don’t think I will ever change. Much to the amusement of the friends I grew up with. I can have conversations with their kids about music, and watch them roll there eyes wondering what the hell are you talking about.

They tend to be stuck back in the 80’s and early 90’s. 

http://www.abc.net.au/triplej/hottest100/11/#

Happy Australia Day